


Jim’s a Good Guy

by deawrites



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Explicit Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-30 00:03:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12642006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites
Summary: Jim's in love with Harvey but Harvey is married.





	Jim’s a Good Guy

**Author's Note:**

> Idea provided from my wife, who wanted to help me break my "plot block" because I couldn't think of another story to write and desperately wanted some Gordlock. Thanks Baby!
> 
> All mistakes are my own. But point them out if you'd like so I can fix them. All comments, suggestions, kudos, criticisms welcome. Thank you for reading!

One: Entanglements and Truths

It wasn’t fair Jim supposed, to hold Harvey to standards that he himself didn’t behave in the parameters of.  He had been with Barbra, then Leslie at the time. There had been flings with Vicki Vale and Sofia Falcone; self-defense Jim gaged now, but at the time it had been reflexive more than anything deeply meaningful for him. Because Harvey was married to Scottie Mullens, now Mullens-Bullock. The thought made him sneer and hurt just a little more each day inside. The truth was that Jim was in love with his partner, Harvey.

 

Ex-partner. Harvey was acting captain of the GCPD now and Jim still just a detective first class. But a promotion would become any day now if the rumor was true, and he knew that Harvey wondered; just as Jim did; how that would change the dynamic between them. Jim was worried less about that professional shift than he was the personal one. Harvey was married to Scottie; a beautiful (to Harvey) woman, who was smart and had a business and identity of her own. While she didn’t need anyone to complete her Harvey needed someone to take care of and be taken care of by in return. She was strong willed, and Jim hated her; not for anything she had said to him or done; all be it she was just shy of being civil to him when he visited Harvey at her bar or she dropped by the station house to see her husband. Yet Jim hated her simply because she had what he wanted, and she knew that Jim wanted Harvey. Just how, he couldn’t say; but she knew and never let him forget that she married Harvey and he never would.

 

At least, that’s what Jim believed until cracks started to show in the façade of Harvey’s marriage two years in. Jim dared hope that they would divorce, but thus far Harvey was hanging on tightly and asking Jim’s advice; pouring his heart out to the man in equal measure of anger and grief. As Harvey’s best friend Jim strived to be the better man and help; to give practical and honest advice when prompted for it. To listen and grant a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, because god only knew that Jim had walked this road time and time again. He wasn’t good at long lasting relationships apparently and Harvey needed Jim to be his friend and a solid foundation of safety. Therefore, Jim became just that, even though it tore him up inside every time Harvey begged him for an answer to save his marriage; a tool to use, a technique to try; a speech to say or action to grant. With each passing storm it grew increasingly difficult for Jim to be Harvey’s sounding board, even if the older man wished for no other.

 

It was killing Jim by degrees. At first, he was swept up in a hurricane of anger and picked fights, worked out too hard and was aggressive at work in his attempts to balance his pain with his giving heart. Slowly anger shifted to pain and Jim found himself crying nearly every night either silent stoic tears or sobbing with grief and want about what he couldn’t have. Every day Jim struggled and trudged forward in his attempts to be what Harvey needed to be while being simultaneously eaten up inside by jealousy and immense desire. Why couldn’t Harvey love him? Why couldn’t they just be together instead of Harvey being married to a woman that was abrasive and controlling? Didn’t Harvey want to be happy? Jim would move heaven and earth to make him filled with joy every possible second if they were together romantically.

 

Jim knew he would give more of himself to Harvey than he had to anyone if he was just granted the opportunity to belong to the older Irishman. Jim couldn’t remember a time when he was more in love; yet only his coupling with Leslie had brought him anywhere near the gravity of emotions. He knew he could run back to her, attempt reconciliation but it would be a fool’s errand. She would never have his heart and soul the way Harvey did. He had given them so freely, by degrees, that he hadn’t felt them seep from him until he was standing at the rehearsal dinner making a toast to the groom and bride to be. Scottie glared on and Harvey’s eyes were tainted by unshed tears. Jim had a full-blown panic attack following the speech, and had excused himself and left the restaurant to gulp deep breaths of air outside. He nearly vomited, couldn’t stop shaking and wanted to howl to the night of the unfairness of the situation. At the wedding he had gotten as drunk as possible but only to the level that he wouldn’t embarrass himself. It was killing him.

 

It was killing Jim still.

 

Harvey was in his office drinking from his flask, and had just downed a couple of pills from a prescription drug bottle when Jim knocked on the door frame of his office. Harvey waved him inside and Jim attempted not to allow his gaze to flicker to the healing wound upon Harvey’s throat. The near loss still brought him to his knees every time he thought of it, or pictured the could have beens.

 

“What’s up, Junior?”

 

Jim smiled ever so slightly at the beloved nick name and shrugged a shoulder. “Dinner? Tonight? Just the two of us? What do you say?”

 

Harvey nodded, his gaze breaking from Jim’s for a few seconds. “I can’t leave until about seven. That all right?”

 

“It’s fine. Come by my place after?”

 

Harvey nodded. “Have to let the little missus know, but yeah. I’ll be there.”

 

Jim’s cheek twitched near the jaw line on the right side. “Tell her I’ll make certain you eat all your vegetables.”

 

Harvey made a scoffing noise and sat back in his chair. “She’s my wife, Jim. Not my mother.” God knew Scottie Mullens-Bullock as wonderful as she was, could never compare to the dead woman Harvey worshiped. “And’ I’ll be there. Need me to bring anything?”

 

Jim shook his head. “Just you. I have all other bases covered.”

 

Harvey smirked. “I love it when you talk sports.” He winked at Jim and leaned forward to pick up the handset of his ringing phone. “Seven fifteen, seven thirty then.”

 

Jim gave him a little wave in response and exited the office feeling a little lighter now that the invitation had been excepted. For a few hours he would have Harvey’s undivided attention and that suited Jim just fine.

 

After his shift, Jim stopped by the grocery store and picked up a few ingredients for dinner and made certain he stocked up on a couple of packs of Harvey’s favored beer. He knew he had enough hard liquor at home to cover the older male’s appetite for it if necessary, yet Jim noticed that when Harvey was with him he didn’t drink as much. That was unless their goal was to go out together and get piss faced drunk. He knew the man snuck sips and poured liquor into his coffee mug at work; had smelled the evidence upon him more than once. Just why he was drinking heavily Jim couldn’t gage except that he knew Harvey was miserable about all the arguments he was having with Scottie. It was as if they couldn’t see eye to eye on anything and the battles were taking their toll. Jim tensed at the thought and realized the last thing he wanted to consider or be subjected too was the battling Bullock’s. He got home in time to change his clothes into his casual lounging jeans and tee shirt, and begin dinner, and chill the beer. By the time Harvey arrived dinner was three quarters of the way finished and Jim greeted his friend at the door with a beer in hand.

 

“Wow!” Harvey exclaimed grinning at his partner. “Looks like you’re going to make someone a great little missus too.”

 

“Ha, ha.” Jim stated taking Harvey’s coat and hat and dropping them on a plush chair in the living room while he returned to the kitchen. “Just for that _you_ get to set the table.” Jim motioned to the plates and utensils resting upon the counter top.

 

Harvey took a large sip of beer and looked from the place settings to Jim. “What, no candles?” He teased.

 

Jim rolled his eyes to him. “Just do it, will you please?”

 

“All right; all right.” Harvey groused in mock annoyance. He set his beer down on the table and retrieved the place settings. He took them to the small table at the opposite side of Jim’s narrow kitchen and began setting the surface as requested. “You know, I didn’t realize you were going to cook. I thought we were doing pizza, not that I’m complaining. A home cooked meal is always welcome.”

 

“Kinda sounds like you are.” Jim teased putting the beef filets in the pan to cook. “Vegetable mix is steamed, and pasta salad is done; once the meat is cooked we’re ready to eat.”

 

Harvey walked over to Jim and stood just behind his right shoulder and leaned toward the pan. “Smells great. So, what’s the occasion?”

 

“You.” Jim stated before he could censor himself. He was glad Harvey couldn’t witness how comically large his eyes got at the admission. Scrambling to cover he added, “I almost lost you and,” Jim paused as emotion clogged his throat.

 

“Hey,” Harvey reasoned gently. He placed a hand upon Jim’s back between his shoulder blades. “I shoulda been dead; you’ll book no argument from me there but, I, I disappointed you and I can’t quite get over that.” Subconsciously Harvey’s hand began rubbing tiny circles upon Jim’s upper back.  “You saved me, and I love you for it; but I know you should have just left me to d-“

 

“No.” Jim interrupted turning quickly to face Harvey. The older male took a step backward so that his body wasn’t touching Jim’s. It all but was; yet now their gazes were locked. “I would never let you die. You were worth saving. You took bribes, but you stopped. Right?”

 

Harvey nodded. “I stopped.”

 

“We don’t need to re-cover that ground. It hurt us both and it’s senseless to keep harping on it.”

 

“Kind of like me returning to the force?”

 

Pain flinched across Jim’s features. “Exactly.” His voice lowered near a whisper. “Please Harvey, I’ll get over my disappointment. I don’t want you to carry shame, I just _need_ you to be an honest cop.” Jim paused and wet his lips with a quick swipe of his tongue tip. “If you can do that, maybe I can forgive myself for dragging you back into rotation.”

 

Harvey’s gaze darted away and with the beer bottle in his left hand he placed it on the counter alongside of the stove. “Jim,” Harvey’s ragged gaze shifted back to his partner’s. “I fucked up so bad,”

 

“We’ll fix it.” Jim stated determined and final. “You stopped. We’ll go back to what we had before. It might take some time, but I’m willing to try. We’ve been through too much; meant too much to one another to lose everything over this. You **have** to see that. I _need_ you to see that.”

 

“And I do.” Harvey pleaded placing his hands upon Jim’s shoulders. “Jim; Buddy; I’m terrified of losing you over what I’ve done; what I’ve become these past few months. The way you looked at me in the hospital,” Harvey paused trying to catch his breath and force himself to continue. For a few silent seconds he searched Jim’s deep, blue, eyes. “I knew you hated me.”

 

Jim shook his head violently and grabbed on to Harvey’s arms, their gazes locking. “I didn’t hate you. I **can’t**. It’s impossible. I love you too much,” The words clogged Jim’s ability speak his eyes misted with tears. “Just, listen to me, all right? I hated what you **did** , not who you are. I always looked up to you and, it just hurt to realize that you’re a human being and not some super hero I built up in my mind.”

 

Harvey laughed at this, the sound a rush of sharp noise trailed by a huff of disbelief. “You? You look up to **me**? Jesus, Junior; you are a terrible judge of character. I’m a mess. I drink too much, I’m addicted to prescription pain meds, I over eat, I’m a walking, talking, freaking disaster of an asshole and you? You look up to _me_?” Harvey shook his head and pulled Jim forward into his embrace. “God bless you, Brother. But you are one _beautiful_ , **idiot**.” Harvey held Jim tightly to him, one hand on the back of his head and the other low upon his back. Their torsos and hips were pressed together, and Jim closed his eyes as he rested his chin upon the crook of Harvey’s shoulder and throat. He embraced Harvey tightly in return and forced himself to breathe. He felt like he was trembling and wondered if Harvey noticed.

 

“It sounds so affectionate when you call me that.”

 

“Call you what? Brother?”

 

“Yeah, but no. When you call me an ‘ _idiot’_.” Jim explained softly. He didn’t want to let go of Harvey, his nostrils filled with his scent, his body relaxed at being pressed fully against the man he loved. His heart ached with desire, his skin pulsing with want, and his soul swirling with need, but all he could do was hold tight and hope Harvey wouldn’t let him go for a while yet.

 

Harvey stroked his hand down the back of Jim’s head a few times. “That’s because I mean it that way. It’s an insult, sure; but only I can call you that because I don’t mean it like everyone else would.”

 

Jim closed a fist in the long hair covering the nape of Harvey’s neck. He loved his hair, longed to run his hands through it whenever he pleased, tug it while they had sex, but both of those desires would never come to fruition. Harvey was married to Scottie and Jim pinned for him in silence. “Well, as long as it’s said with love,”

 

“It is.” Harvey interrupted kissing Jim’s cheek briefly before petting his hair once more. “You’re my idiot and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Jim hugged him tighter and Harvey realized he was having a little difficulty breathing. Slowly he disengaged from Jim and touched a palm to Jim’s cheek once they were parted. He searched Jim’s gaze and nodded slowly. “Are we good? I mean, will we _be_ good?”

 

Jim smirked. “We are; we will be. Like I said, we’ve come too far through too much to get here.”

 

“Agreed.” Harvey withdrew his hand and Jim stilled himself dying to follow the warmth of that simple touch. Harvey reached for his beer and took a sip, his throat dry and his eyes moist.  “So, how about those steaks?”

 

Quickly Jim turned around back to the stove to check on their meal and flipped the meat onto its second side.  “Just five more minutes. Ten if we let them sit for a few minutes afterwards.”

 

“I don’t care if that makes them more flavored or not, I’m starving. We eat in five.”

 

Jim laughed and surreptitiously wiped a tear from his cheek with the back of his wrist. “All right, all right. Give the chef a chance.” He missed the warmth of Harvey’s body and longed for its return.

 

Jim had one beer with dinner and Harvey had five. Just as Jim predicted Harvey didn’t drink any stronger alcohol and after the dishes were placed in the sink and the leftovers put away, the two ended up upon the little used couch, sitting close to one another. Jim sat as near as he could without being in Harvey’s lap. He was turned upon the cushions facing Harvey, while the older male sat in a more traditional pose. They had traded alcohol for decaffeinated coffee, but neither one seemed that interested in drinking. The cups sat on coasters unattended upon the glass surface of the coffee table and the two men locked gazes.

 

“I don’t know what to do Jim. I’ve been married three times and I don’t want this one to end up like the other two.”  Jim swallowed down his instinctive response of, ‘Would it be so bad if it did?’ and nodded and continued to listen. He didn’t exactly trust himself to speak. “It’s like every time I open my damn mouth I just make things worse instead of better. She’s right on top of me every word; tearing it apart and lighting into me like I just raised my hand to her. Which,” Harvey quickly paused holding both of his palms up in surrender. “I’ve _never_ done. She’s much more likely to hit me than I would ever be to slug her.”

 

“That’s not good either.” Jim offered softly. “I don’t like the idea of you being concerned that she might take a swing at you,”

 

“She won’t.” Harvey protected Scottie just as softly as Jim spoke. “I mean, when she really gets angry she’s slapped me on the arms but, she never put any real power behind it. I’m not a battered spouse if that’s what you’re worried about.”

 

It seemed a minute thing to be questioning and concerned for, but Jim was just the same. When it came to Harvey his jealousy knew no bounds. “I had to ask.”

 

“I know.” Harvey placed his right hand upon Jim’s left calf, the leg folded underneath him upon the couch cushion. “I appreciate it, I do.” He squeezed the leg a little and searched Jim’s face. “We just fight like cats and dogs. I get tired of it. I keep asking myself, am I really making her happy? Or just fucking miserable? And is that fair, you know?” He shook his head and looked away. “I don’t have any answers Jim. At least, not right now.” Harvey sighed and lay his head back against the top ridge of the couch, staring up at the ceiling. Harvey groaned. “Tell me, Junior, what do I do? What do I fucking _do_?”

 

“You push through.” Jim admitted forcing himself to be a helpful friend, when all he wanted to do was kiss Harvey, attack his bared throat with nips and kisses. He wanted to straddle Harvey’s lap and grind against him until they both were hard and panting. He wanted to drop from the couch to between Harvey’s knees and suck his cock until the older male turned his face up to the ceiling to moan out his climax. Instead Jim continued, “You refuse to argue and just ask her calmly, rationally; what’s the real issue between you two? Depending on her answer you either discuss it out right, or keep calm and asking her until she tells you. If she doesn’t know what the problem is, start guessing; hope to inspire her to the truth.”

 

Harvey sighed and leveled his head, gaze slipping to Jim’s once more. “Easier said than done. But you’re right; I should just keep it simple, steadfast, easy. Ask her directly what’s been on her mind and get her to open up to me.” Harvey smiled slightly and squeezed Jim’s leg once more. “Thanks Jim. You’re the only person that takes me seriously with this. Everyone else bemoans that I’m drunk, or shovels some chauvinistic bullshit at me.”

 

Jim placed his hand upon Harvey’s and laced their fingers together. “I’m your best friend. If I didn’t listen and try and help you, what kind of man would I be?”

 

“A bad one.” Harvey joked and abruptly his expression fell as he considered that he was a sorry example of a male role model for taking bribes. “I meant,”

 

“It’s all right, Harv.” Jim assured him applying pressure to their union of hands. “Remember? We have a moratorium for now.” Harvey nodded. “You mentioned something earlier about possible pain killer addiction?”

 

Shame burned across Harvey’s expression. “I actually attended a Narcotic’s Anonymous meeting about that yesterday. Technically I might not _be_ addicted, but I’m well on my way so it’s too close for comfort. I figure if I get help now it can save me hitting rock bottom.” As far as Harvey was concerned his rock bottom had not been reached under duress of alcohol or drugs, but his own stupidity and heartbreak over his professional and personal finances that elicited him to accept Penguin’s money. Jim could see this clearly in his gaze, read it there as if he thought it on his own. Jim leaned forward and used his free hand to grip the nape of Harvey’s neck and pull him forward until their foreheads were touching.

 

“We’ll get you clean, Brother. Call on me any time you need too. Promise?”

 

“I promise.” Harvey assured him, and they stared deeply into one another’s gazes for many silent moments, the intensity building until Jim all but jerked away. He still held Harvey’s hand near his lap, but withdrew his touch otherwise. Jim was far too tempted by the near vicinity of Harvey’s lips and ached to taste them, to prove to Harvey that he was better for him than Scottie ever could be.

 

It wasn’t fair; just how deeply Jim loved the man before him and how he could never have him. Life was not fair, but this was extreme prejudice. The two sat in silence and Harvey’s gaze dropped from Jim’s features to their hands. He stroked his thumb over Jim’s knuckles and felt Jim tighten his grip in response.

 

“I hate her.”

 

Harvey’s head snapped up at the utterance from Jim’s lips, the sentence spoken so softly Harvey’s ears were ringing in the silence following it. “What? What did you just say?”

 

Jim pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and raised his gaze to Harvey’s. “You heard me. I said, I **hate** her.”

 

Harvey seemed to consider this before coming to a decision and relaxing. “Na, you just hate how she’s _treating_ me right now is all. I get it.”

 

Jim shook his head. “I meant what I said.”

 

Disbelieving Harvey glared at him. “Jim, she’s my **wife**. You can’t just announce that you ‘ _hate’_ her.”

 

“I can, and I did. I hate her Harvey. I detest her and wish you had never met.” Jim’s shoulders broadened with pride as he puffed his chest out slightly at finally revealing the truth. He was standing his ground and Harvey pulled his hand slowly free of Jim’s.

 

“How? How can you even **say** that to me?”

 

“Because I don’t lie to you.” Jim swallowed, his neck heating up and ear tips burning from the lie. “I know you love her, but I don’t think she’s the right woman for you.”

 

Anger flashed behind Harvey’s green eyes and they narrowed. “Oh yeah? Well then just who in the _hell_ is? Huh? Answer me that!”

 

“I don’t know.” Jim stated calmly. “But it’s not Scottie.”

 

Frustrated Harvey rubbed both hands down his face and exhaled sharply. He shook his head and looked at Jim once more, pointing at him. “You two have always been snarky to one another. Look, I don’t know what you think she did? Or that happened between you two? But it stops now, I’m _married_ to her Jim. That means until ‘death do us part’.”

 

“It didn’t with Pamela or Doreen.” Jim reminded calmly forcing himself to remain even toned. “Scottie’s not as bad for you as Doreen was, but she’s damn close in my opinion.”

 

“See? Right there!” Harvey exclaimed jabbing an extended finger towards Jim. “ **Your** opinion! **Your** preference, not mine!” Anger ran hot through his veins and contorted his expression. “I happen to think that Scottie is a special woman that deserves to have the ground she walks on worshiped.”

 

“Then why don’t you?” Jim asked coolly. “In all the things you have ever said to me about her, worshiping her was not one of them. You don’t love her as much as you want too.” Jim longed for that to be the truth; felt that it was even if it didn’t automatically mean that Harvey was in love with him instead. The Irishman wasn’t; but Jim was in love and it hurt more than any anguish he had ever experienced, including his father’s death.

 

“What the hell is _wrong_ with you?” Harvey shouted rising quickly to his feet. He rounded on Jim who sat placidly upon the couch. “I come to you for advice and, and, and sympathy and all you can say to me is that you ‘ _hate’_ my wife?” Harvey held his hands out from his sides in grand gesture of disbelief. “Why the fuck wouldn’t you tell me that _before_ I was **engaged** to her? Or married? Why are you telling me this **now** , Jim? Why? Why are you doing this to me?”

 

“I’m not doing this ‘ _to’_ you.” Jim assured Harvey gently. “I just can’t keep the truth from you any more.”

 

Harvey held a hand to his forehead, closed his eyes and shook his head. “I, I have to go.” He said turning to the chair across from the couch and grabbing his leather coat and hat. “I can’t, I can’t _believe_ this.” He moved to the door of the apartment and Jim was on his feet and behind him within a few seconds. He pushed the door closed when Harvey attempted to pull it open. “Gordon,” Harvey hissed, “I’m warning you. Let me go right now or I’m gonna deck that pretty face of yours, break your nose, and watch it swell up three sizes too large so it takes over your entire face!”  It wasn’t exactly an empty threat, but it wasn’t set in stone either. If it had been Harvey would have just struck Jim instead of said anything about it.

 

“Don’t go. Please?”

 

The desperation and need within Jim’s voice drained all the fight immediately out of Harvey. He looked at Jim, gaped at him; and swallowed. His coat lay over his left arm and he held his hat in his left hand. Harvey swallowed and watched Jim’s features and gaze flood with need and sorrow so great that Harvey was nearly choking on it.

 

“What? So, you can blindside me with other gems of honesty?”

 

Jim shook his head and reached out to take Harvey’s right hand and place it upon Jim’s own heart.  “How can you go back to her when I need you so much more than she ever could? She doesn’t love you the way you deserve. She wouldn’t follow you to hell and back, die for you, **live** for you. Not like I would, and certainly not like I _do_.” Jim swallowed as tears abruptly dampened his cheeks. “She can’t give you the life I can Harv. A home, utter devotion, fathomless love; _children_. There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You’re my life, and; and I love you. Please don’t go. I couldn’t take it if you went back to her tonight.”

 

Utterly gob smacked Harvey stared at Jim. His lips parted, moved but no words escaped them. He made a noise and his chest began to heave; he began to perspire, and his face became flushed, his hands shook, and Jim brought him into an instant embrace.

 

“It’s all right, Harvey.” He placed a tender kiss upon Harvey’s cheek and cradled him in his embrace. “I’m here. I meant every word I just said. Please, don’t leave me tonight, or any night. I _need_ you; I love you.”

 

Harvey closed his eyes and clutched Jim to him, his hat and leather coat falling to the floor beside him. His body began trembling as if it would shake apart and Jim tightened his embrace. “I’ve got you, Harv.” He whispered, and a sob escaped Harvey’s throat before he could swallow it. Tears pried his eyes slightly open and he silently began to cry, gasping every minute or so as he fought to continue breathing.

 

“Jim. Jesus, help me. I don’t know what to do.”

 

Jim pulled back enough to make eye contact and pressed a palm to Harvey’s cheek. “I know what to do.” Jim leaned forward and took Harvey’s lips in his own. Harvey groaned, his resolve shattering as Jim’s tongue insistently slid against his own. They were kissing, breath coming fast, kisses breaking and reforming faster as they clung to one another and attempted to breathe one another in and continue kissing without having to sever their union for air. Jim was dizzy with their consumption of one another and he held Harvey’s face in his hands and searched his eyes.

 

“Come to my bed?” He asked, demanded really and dumbly, Harvey nodded in response. Jim kissed Harvey a final time and took his left hand, leading him toward the bedroom. Wiping away fallen tears, Harvey followed.

 

Two: The Morning After

Harvey hadn’t drunk enough to grant him a hangover. In fact, he felt immensely relaxed and smiled a little and shifted in a stretch. It was when he opened his eyes and saw the interior of Jim’s bedroom that panic set in like an ice covered metric ton of steel. He pushed himself up on his elbows and looked to his right. Jim was lying, asleep, facing him. Gone was the anger from his features, the frustration and wear and tear of being on his one-man crusade for Justice. He looked so peaceful, that for a split second the fear was replaced by affection and then Harvey ran a hand down his face as reality set in once more.  He had stayed the night at Jim’s. He had stayed the night at Jim’s and had sex with him. He had stayed the night at Jim’s, had sex with him and hadn’t called Scottie to let her know that he wouldn’t be home. She was going to kill him for putting her through all the worry that night; but then again, she knew he was going over to Jim’s for dinner. He was afraid to find his cell phone and check his messages. Scottie had every right to be furious with him.

 

Harvey had sex with Jim.

 

The guilt was crushing even despite his fear. Harvey rolled to his side and sat up, placing his feet upon the floor. He was naked and kept the sheet across his lap, not for propriety’s sake as much as that was just how the sheet moved with him. He placed his head in his hands and realized that he may finally have done it; gone that extra step that pushed Jim to the breaking point and would forever sever their relationship. This was a mistake; a horrible, terrible mistake and there was nothing Harvey could do to change that now. Harvey started at the feel of a warm hand upon his lower back.

 

“Hey.” Jim stated sliding across the mattress to sit up behind Harvey. He wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled at the nape of his neck through his hair. “Good morning.”

 

Harvey forced himself to relax; to ignore how good it felt to have the warmth of Jim’s solid frame against him. He gazed back over his left shoulder at Jim. “Hey yourself.” Jim rose up, nuzzling further against him then took his lips in his own. The kiss was sweet, stole Harvey’s breath and Jim smirked at him when it was over, running a hand through his thick hair, finger pads trailing lightly upon the scalp.

 

“Lay back down. I’m not ready for you to get out of bed yet.” The lit to Jim’s voice alerted Harvey that Jim wanted him for sex and not sleep. He smiled meekly in response and stroked Jim’s arm that was still around his waist.

 

“Jim, I have to go home. I didn’t tell Scottie I’d be spending the night here. She’s worried.”

 

Jim frowned, his expression souring. “You’re not going to stay?” It was an accusation more than a question and Harvey felt his gut twist with nausea.

 

“I, I’m married Jim.” It seemed like a stupid thing to say, and it was based on Jim’s reaction. He withdrew from Harvey completely and got out of bed, pulled on a pair of clean boxer briefs and came around the edge of the bed to kneel before Harvey.

 

Jim’s gaze was wide, wet and pleading when he looked up into Harvey’s face. “Divorce her. Stay with me.”

 

Harvey felt like his heart was breaking all over again; just like it did the day in the hospital when Jim interrogated him about being corrupt. “Jim,” Helpless Harvey motioned with his hands and Jim grabbed them, his grip intense as a readied bow string.

 

“Don’t. Just call her. Call her and tell her whatever excuse you’d like. But don’t go home. Stay.” Jim pushed forward and lay his head in Harvey’s lap, releasing his hands and embracing his legs. “Please Harvey? _Stay_.”

 

Harvey’s head dropped forward, and he closed his eyes for a few painful seconds. He reached up and began stroking Jim’s hair. How could he say no? How couldn’t he say yes? Harvey felt a wash of emotions and thoughts as Jim tightened his embrace and begged softly once more. Time stretched as Jim held on to him and Harvey waffled with indecision.

 

“All right.” Harvey whispered, and Jim’s head shot up, blue eyes moist with tears and a smile that broke Harvey’s heart, across his face.  “Let me find my phone.”  Instead Jim surged up and kissed Harvey passionately, arms thrown about him, weight pressing him back down upon the mattress. “You know,” Harvey said finding himself smiling a little as well. “you’re killing my back.” The position was awkward for him and Jim rolled a little to one side to dis engage enough for Harvey to sit up again. He crawled back into bed and not so patiently waited for Harvey to get up and search the clothes trail from the bedroom back out to the living room for his suit jacket. He found it near the chair his hat was on with his coat, one of the first casualties of the previous evening. Harvey felt guilt seize him again and he followed the trail back to his underwear and pulled on his boxers. He looked up at Jim through the open bedroom door and gave him a tender smile, which Jim returned tenfold.

 

He was doing the right thing, wasn’t he? By staying now, he was only prolonging the inevitable conversation with Jim that he was dreading. Yet Jim had been so forlorn and begged him to stay, how could he be heartless and say no? Harvey looked down at his phone and as expected there were a barrage of voice mails and texts from his wife. Biting his bottom lip Harvey scrolled through his contacts to Scottie and rang her, cringing when she answered the phone frightened for and angry with him immediately.

 

“Hey, Honey… I know. I know okay? I was,” Harvey clenched a fist and turned his back to Jim while simultaneously endearing an earful from his wife. “Okay but you have to understand… No, no not at all!” Harvey took several steps back into the living room. “We got to drinking and talking about work, and the time; well, it just got away from us,” Harvey held the handset away from his head just a little and mouthed a few curse words. He knew he deserved every bit of anger she was currently hurling at him, he just wished she wasn’t so quick to hit him at the core with all of her shots. “Yes, I realize that. I know. And you’re right,” The conversation went on for several minutes and took a turn for the worse when Harvey announced that he wasn’t coming home yet.

 

From the bedroom Jim listened and for a few minutes felt a sense of concern that Harvey would surrender to the brow beating he was receiving and leave after all. Yet after a few minutes he came skulking back into the bedroom and headed immediately for the bed. He climbed in and lay down upon his stomach, face first into the pillow and groaned with dismay. From the pillow came a muffled, “Do I have any ass left? Cause I think it just got blown off.”

 

Jim smirked and facing Harvey ran a hand up the back of one thigh and gripped an ass cheek in his hand. “Feels just fine to me.”

 

Harvey raised his head from the pillow. “This is how you’re making the whole wrath of wife thing better? Making cheesy jokes and groping me? You’re gonna have to try harder than that to make this up to me, Junior.”

 

“Oh, I’m going to spend the entire **day** making it up to you.” Jim promised moving in for a kiss.

 

Jim was good to his word and by late afternoon Harvey was somewhat relieved that he would be going home for the night. At least there he would get some sleep; all be it on the couch but sleep none the less.  It was when he was getting dressed and Jim questioned his motives that Harvey felt guilt encompass him once more.

 

“Jim, I have to go home at some point. Face the music, apologize, all of that.”  The look of abject agony upon Jim’s features flashed for painful seconds but then was immediately covered by a stoic glare.

 

“You’re not leaving her for me.”

 

With those six words Harvey felt his entire heart and soul drop out of him.  “Is that what you wanted? I’m married, and I don’t hate Scottie,”

 

“But you’re not in love with her!” Jim snapped crossing his arms over his chest. “Or am I the one you’re not in love with?”

 

Harvey gaped at Jim for a few seconds before anger narrowed his features. “In love with _you_? Of course, I’m in love with you, you freaking idiot! I’ve been in love with you since the first day we had that shoving match. But I thought I could _never have_ **you** , so now I’m married to Scottie and in a bit of a bind because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here!” Harvey shouted at Jim, motioning wildly between them and to the room in general. “So, what? After one night with you I’m supposed to turn my life upside down instantly because, because,”

 

“Yes!” Jim growled lowering his arms but pointing at Harvey with a hand and poking him in the chest. “That’s **exactly** what you’re supposed to do. You want to be married to me, not Scottie. So, that means you have to get a divorce before we can make it official!”

 

“What?” Harvey demanded disbelief roaring through him. “Married to y,” the words died immediately as all of Harvey’s anger fell away in an instant. “Us?”

 

“Yes.” Jim replied his fury draining to nothingness as well. “I wouldn’t have asked you to turn your life inside out otherwise.”

 

“Upside down.” Harvey corrected.

 

“That too.” Jim reframed, his gaze pleading with Harvey. “I know I’m selfish and I hate Scottie, but I love you and I know this is a lot to ask of you so quickly; divorce hurts everyone involved. But Harvey, can’t you just go home, retrieve some things and come back here? Can’t you at least leave her?”

 

Harvey wet his lips considering Jim’s question. “Yeah, I can do that. Tell her it’s over. Give her some time to get used to the idea.” His expression fell. “I just, don’t like hurting people. Disappointing them.”

 

Jim moved to close the distance between them and encircled his arms around his lover. “I love you.” He stated his gaze locked in Harvey’s. “But we need to be together, and in order,”

 

“I know.” Harvey interrupted placing his arms around Jim in return. They embraced and cradled one another affectionately. “There’s gonna be yelling. And she’s going to throw things at me. Literally, like knickknacks and such.”

 

Jim pulled back to take Harvey’s lips in his own. “Want me to go with you? If I can dodge bullets I think a few household décor items wouldn’t be much of a stretch.”

 

“I dunno, Jim. She plays softball and has excellent aim.”

 

“Then I’ll just have to be faster.”

 

Harvey nodded. “That, I think you can do.” He kissed Jim deeply and then pressed his forehead against Jim’s. “I love you.”

 

Jim’s breath rushed out of him upon hearing those words for the first time in the context he had longed too for years. “I love you too.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Jim’s A Hurt Guy - A Ficlet](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13406004) by [deawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/deawrites/pseuds/deawrites)




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